Celebrating my two year Wedding Anniversary 05/13/14

Marriage, a union between two souls who have been looking for each other for a lifetime.  A anniversary, a point in time to remember why you joined as one, and to remember to love now and forever.

Love on this day my Wedding Anniversary.

That Day..

The sun really shone that day.  It was the day I met the future.  The day I realized that the life I had was not really life at all.  The day I realized what love really felt like.  It was a feeling no one could describe.  Even these words now do not do it justice.  The unrestricted happiness that comes, that we are not capable of showing as adults.  The carefree mentality.  The compassion and love. That day was beautiful and each day thereafter has been just as bright.  Even on days that the sun does not shine I still see a sparkle.  It was the day I met an angel.  This is an angel on earth; this angel is my son, a blessing that I will forever be grateful.  Each day I give thanks and I take no moment for granted.  Every second is worth a lifetime.  That day, it was certainly a great day!

Ealia L. Wiley

Freedom(This song has gotten through me a lot in the past 10 years)

Freedom
By Ashanti
Said I'm gone close my eyes
Said I'm gon' live my life
Despite what you think
I'm gone be free I'm a be me

See I ain't never think I would have a situation where the people around me just envy I must replace them
See I always thought the people that watch me grow
Would want to see me blow fa'sho but little did I know
They ain't never really wanna see me smiling.
They couldn't take the fact that I was really shining
And in my heart I knew they was wishing I was stop
Cause they don't want me to rise and be on top.
And all that jealousy and hate
Can be right in front of your face
And it's gone hurt for you to see
But it ain't your fault just let it be

So I'm gone close my eyes
And I'm gone live my life
Despite what you think Im'a be free cause Im'a be me.

See everybody wanna have something to talk about
So they pointing their fingers and always running their mouths.
No matter how you try to satisfy someone else giving so much of yourself yo love but it's never enough.
The more you give them the more want they ain't happy
And they don't see all you do to make 'em happy
They don't appreciate it till you walk away
But you don't want to hear by now it's too late.
And all that jealousy and hate
Can be right in front of your face
And it's gone hurt for you to see
But it ain't your fault just let it be.

So I'm gone close my eyes
And I'm gone live my life
Despite what you think Im'a be free cause Im'a be me.

What they don't understand is that Im'a keep livin my life and surviving
Im'a keep pushing and striving and climbing and grinding
Cause ain't no time to be crying I been providing with the strength to carry my way
And Im'a be ok cause I'm gone live my life my way
And u can say what u wanna say it wont affect the way I'm living I'm winning by being free again

So I'm gone close my eyes
And I'm gone live my life
Despite what you think Im'a be free cause Im'a be me.

Kandi "I Just Know"

Missing the real things in life

I miss the days of honest friendship before lines got blurred.
I missed the days of being able to pick up the phone and call to talk.
I miss the life pep talks.
I miss the world I lived in which I was free.
I miss being able to love freely without consequence.
I miss being able to be open about everything.
I miss truth, honesty, and real talk.
I miss being called a young lady.
I miss the old life I had where meeting new people was easy to do.
I miss not being afraid to pack my bags and go anywhere.
I miss dreaming of a reality that I wished would come true.
I miss true love in the barest sense.
I miss knowing that a soul mate was a real thing.
I miss living in today and not worrying about tomorrow.
I miss being sane and crazy at the same time yet being loved for those very qualities.
I hate hiding behind the fake smiles and half-assed laugh.
I miss being respected and praised.
I missed feeling importance.
I miss that who made me realize life was a choice and the choices we made we had to be strong enough to stick with.
I miss you friend of life.

Journey

Journey

Realizing that the pain you felt for so long is a means to an end.
Realizing that the path you walk is the choice you made
Realizing that family is the best gift God could have ever given you.
Realizing that the cards we were dealt, play out better if you play them blind.
Realizing that the plans you make never pan out the way you envisioned.
Realizing that procrastination is the road to nowhere.
Realizing that holding on to the bad news on increases the sting upon deliverance.
Realizing that everyone else’s agenda is not meant for you to compare.
Realizing that today’s hour will always be different than tomorrows.
Realizing that giving freely is the only true way to give.
Realizing that you will receive nothing in return gives you greater peace than you planned.
Realizing that jumping on the bandwagon makes you a true follower.
Realizing that having your opinion speaks louder than having your own style.
Realizing that life’s consequences are dreams we had that we couldn’t remember.
Realizing that being positive wards off the evil before you see it coming.
Realizing that you will always be a better friend to someone else then they are to you.
Realizing that the light you follow is your own star shining.
The Journey of life…

Haunted Memories

Haunted Memories
Life keeps going but you keep realizing
Memories of a past that once could have been
Lost thoughts of a happiness you long to forget
Knowing that what’s meant to happen does
Control is not always something you have
Fading clouds, daunting shadows, living breathing

Haunted Memories
Space, dreams, pictures, all fallacies of what is not
Days are slow moving, looking back at what was before
Time moving forward but your mind standing still
Air, Scene, Water, Canvas

Haunted Memories
Grasping for what could have been yours
Hoping the future holds what satisfies
Desires of the presence of Presents a Gift
Life is, Real, Time is fast moving, Here is your card
Let go, leave behind, Future is Forward
Stop living in your Haunted Memories

By Ealia L. Payne
April 22, 2011